THE Sun’s Deborah James has heartbreakingly revealed she wants to die at her parents home for the sake of her children.
The brave mum-of-two, 40, announced in her final podcast that she has opted to receive hospice care at home as her body “just can’t continue.”
She was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer just days before Christmas in 2016.
Deborah, known to fans as BowelBabe, has shared every step of her journey with Sun readers and her legion of loyal Instagram followers.
Even as she stares death in the face, her determination to raise awareness of her rare cancer has not faltered.
Trending In The News columnist raised a whopping £1million in just 16 hours after launching her BowelBabe Fund.
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Deborah has now opened up about stopping active treatment in her final episode of her BBC podcast titled – You, Me and the Big C: Putting the can in cancer.
She emotionally bid farewell to her army of faithful listeners in a poignant chat with podcast producer and pal Mike Holt.
The campaigner said she felt “utterly blessed” to have the opportunity to share her story over the years.
She explained she has “processed what she knew was coming” but is still struggling to come to terms with her fate.
Deborah said she has decided to live out her days at her parent’s property to spare her kids from constant reminders in their family home.
The mum announced: “I’ve decided I want to be at my parents in Woking.
“As much as I love London I can’t even get up the steps to pee, it’s not practical and my parents live in a bungalow. And I can see greenery and my whole family can come here.
“It’s kind of where I’ve always wanted to die, weirdly. I’ve always had that in mind.
“I think I always knew I didn’t want to be at my London home. It doesn’t feel right to me.
“There’s nothing I can describe that feels relaxing in that capacity.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely place but I also think it’s not right for me but it means the kids can go back there and they don’t have those medical equipment scars faced everywhere.
“It can continue to be their home without those memories, which might be a good thing.”
After reminiscing on her rollercoaster five years following her diagnosis, Deborah said she is now facing the “unknown”.
She said she “always knew my cancer would catch me in the end” but told the podcast that “life has to go on”.
Deborah took solace in the fact she would be “partying” with her late best pal and fellow cancer sufferer Rachael Bland.
Stifling tears, said: “I think well if she can do it, I can do it. We always had a joke about grim reapers on the other side.
“I still have it as one of my gifs, so it’s ironic. Maybe she will meet me on the other side and be like ‘wow, better late than never!””
Signing off, Deborah told a devastated Mike: “We’ll see each other again, somewhere, somehow, dancing.
“And until then please, please just enjoy life because it is so precious. All I want right now is more time and more life.”
She then joked: “And check your poo. I can’t leave on any other word except from check your poo.”
DEBORAH’S LAST DANCE
The mum earlier revealed her devastating prognosis in an emotional post on Instagram, saying it was “the message she never wanted to write.”
It read: “We have tried everything, but my body simply isn’t playing ball.
“My active care has stopped and I am now moved to hospice at home care, with my incredible family all around me and the focus is on making sure I’m not in pain and spending time with them.
“Nobody knows how long I’ve got left but I’m not able to walk, I’m sleeping most of the days, and most things I took for granted are pipe dreams. I know we have left no stone unturned.
“But even with all the innovative cancer drugs in the world or some magic new breakthrough, my body just can’t continue anymore.
“In over five years of writing about how I thought it would be my final Christmas, how I wouldn’t see my 40th birthday nor see my kids go to secondary school – I never envisaged writing the one where I would actually say goodbye.
“I think it’s been the rebellious hope in me. But I don’t think anyone can say the last six months have exactly been kind!
“It’s all heartbreaking to be going through but I’m surrounded by so much love that if anything can help me through I hope that will.”
Deborah also unveiled her BowelBabe Fund and urged her supportive fans to help it flourish.
FUNDRAISING SUCCESS
Donations can be made at bowelbabe.org, and £1,752,626 has been raised in just 24 hours.
She asked supporters to buy her a drink to “see me out this world” by donating the cost to the fund.
Trending In The News columnist said it would raise money for further life-saving cancer research “to give more Deborah’s more time”.
And she wrote: “Right now for me it’s all about taking it a day at a time, step by step and being grateful for another sunrise.
“My whole family are around me and we will dance through this together, sunbathing and laughing (I’ll cry!!) at every possible moment!
“You are all incredible, thank you for playing your part in my journey.
No regrets. Enjoy life x”
Deborah has been sharing every step of her journey with Sun readers in her column Things Cancer Made Me Say.
Her podcast co-hosts Lauren Mahon and Steve Bland showed their unwavering support for their pal in the comments.
Lauren responded: “I love you. What I would give for one last rosè.”
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Steve Bland added: “Love you so much Deb.”
Gaby Roslin, Jess Wright, Andrea McLean, Bowel Cancer UK and Candice Brown also shared their love with her.
