IT can’t have been easy for Meghan to write her searingly honest and heartbreaking account of going through the agony of miscarriage.
She and Harry were obviously devastated to lose their baby and Meghan described the pain and anguish in a way that will resonate with everyone who has gone through such an ordeal.
Her article in The New York Times detailed how she realised she was losing her baby while she was holding her son Archie in her arms in July and experienced painful cramping.
Meghan wrote: “I knew as I clutched my firstborn child, I was losing my second.”
Not wanting to upset baby Archie, who had celebrated his first birthday a few weeks earlier, she dropped to the floor humming a lullaby to keep them both calm.
It’s sad to think of Meghan and Harry later ending up in a hospital room holding hands and trying to deal with their unbearable grief.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a prince or a pauper, wealth and status don’t shield you from the suffering that comes with such a terrible loss.
In circumstances similar to that experienced by Meghan, I had a miscarriage almost 20 years ago, suffering cramp, bleeding and ending up in hospital.
‘UNWARRANTED SHAME’
I remember being told what had happened to me was incredibly common, with one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage.
I know the particular medic was trying to be helpful and thought this information would make me feel better.
But it actually made me feel a whole lot worse, because it meant so many people were going through a similar traumatic experience.
Meghan also wrote about these large numbers and the taboo of miscarriage, and also how it is “surrounded with unwarranted shame,” with couples feeling they have to mourn in solitude.
I find that incredibly sad and would dearly have hoped things would have changed since my miscarriage two decades ago.
But by speaking openly and in such an accessible way, Meghan has made it easier for people to talk about their experiences, and for everyone else to be a lot more understanding about something so sad and misunderstood.
I found that an awful lot of people didn’t really know what to say to me, and I realise that it can be very difficult to find the right words.
But all I really wanted to hear was that they were sorry and thinking of both of us.
And it’s really important to remember it’s not just the woman who loses her baby.
Grandparents-to-be and friends and family will also experience grief. They need comfort too.
Meghan’s article comes after model Chrissy Teigen shared visceral photographs of her and husband John Legend, taken in hospital after the still birth of her son.
The images were devastating and vividly showed their raw pain.
BACKLASH
While many sympathised and praised Chrissy, there was also a backlash from those who claimed she was “oversharing.”
This was horribly cruel, and sadly I am sure Meghan will receive similar abuse.
I hope both women take solace from the fact the people who have been through the same loss have been expressing their immense gratitude.
It won’t have been easy for Meghan to open up about something so personal, but she knows every word she utters gains global attention and has an enormous impact.
She’s used her high profile in a really positive way and I applauded her courage.
Meghan and Harry’s experience has shown us you never know what is going on in other people’s lives, nor in their marriages.
From the outside they seemed to be living the high life, leaving behind dull royal duties for the glamour of La La Land, when, in fact, they were going through a really tough time having to come to terms with the loss of their baby.
I know Meghan and Harry want to have more children and I really hope their next pregnancy is a successful one, and that they will both be able to enjoy the whole nine months without feeling over-anxious.
They deserve that happiness.
Crown is fun, fancy but fiction
IT’S astonishing. Almost 30million people across the world have watched The Crown so far, which is more than the number who viewed Charles and Diana’s real-life wedding in 1981.
The Netflix series is a wonderful piece of hokum that is sumptuously filmed, beautifully written and, for the most part, the acting is pitch perfect.
Emma Corrin as Princess Diana, probably the most difficult and thankless task, did a wonderful job in capturing the naivety, mischievousness and growing superstardom of the people’s Princess.
I thought Tobias Menzies as Prince Philip and Erin Doherty as Princess Anne also stood out from the crowd, but for me it all feels a bit too soon.
I clearly remember all of these events, from the assassination of Lord Mountbatten to the awkward engagement interview between Charles and Diana where he unforgivably answered the question of whether they were in love with the sour riposte: “Whatever in love means.”
We really should have seen the signs even then that this wasn’t the fairytale happily-ever-after being sold to us.
I have to agree with Diana’s brother Earl Spencer, who quite reasonably says each episode should open with the caveat it’s a drama and not a documentary and that certain events and timelines have been altered to fit in with the narrative.
The trouble is there’s a whole generation who weren’t born during the marriage of Charles and Diana and will take The Crown as historical gospel.
I hope it encourages them to read up on Thatcherism, the Falklands War and the royals and to put it all into context for themselves.
David’s full of wisdom
THE delightful Sir David Jason has written a book where he passes on the hard-won wisdom of his 80 years.
A Del Of A Life: Lessons I’ve Learned is like sitting down for a right good chat with a man who has given us some of the best-loved programmes on TV.
Open All Hours, Only Fools And Horses, The Darling Buds Of May, A Touch Of Frost and Porterhouse Blue to name but a few.
What shines through the book and indeed his entire life is Sir David’s work ethic, as well as his kindness and positivity.
He has time and respect for everyone involved in all of his projects, from his driver to the catering crew, make-up team and his fellow cast members, no matter how big or small a part they play.
Of course he has the same energy, enthusiasm and zest for life as a man in his thirties.
He’s dad to a teenage daughter, flies helicopters and is always looking for his next challenge.
He’s a proper national treasure and we are very lucky to have him.
