LABOUR MP Stella Creasy has been trying to fly the flag for women this week, taking her baby into a Commons debate – and being reprimanded by Parliament for doing so.
This is not the first time the Walthamstow MP has done this.
She has taken part in other debates with three-month-old son Pip, and following the 2019 election was sworn in while holding baby daughter Hettie.
I always like to be a cheerleader for women but I don’t think Stella should bring her baby to work with her.
After all, most workplaces do not allow staff to bring kids with them to work — so why should Parliament be any different?
Female police officers don’t take their babies on the beat.
Female teachers don’t take their babies into the classroom.
And can you imagine if female surgeons took their kids into the operating theatre? You’d imagine a young woman who took her kid on a shelf-stacking shift at a supermarket would probably be sacked for doing so.
I am sorry to say this but much as I wish it were the case we could, the truth is you can’t have it all.
And although I went back to work pretty quickly after my children were born — something that I have since regretted, by the way — when I left the house I was very much in work mode.
And that did not include holding a tiny baby prone to sudden mood swings, preposterously unpredictable outbursts and the desire to feed most of the time, so needing my full attention.
In an ideal world, maternity leave is there to ensure you can stay at home with your baby and not take them to work. Since MPs do not get maternity leave, Stella says she was forced to take her son into the chamber to ensure her Walthamstow residents had representation.
Clearly, and without doubt, that policy needs addressing, not least because it will encourage more women to work at Westminster. But in the meantime, I do not think the answer is for women to bring their babies to work.
By far the biggest barrier to mothers working is high-quality, affordable childcare.
As an MP, Stella is on a basic annual salary of £81,932 (plus expenses) — a salary that is way higher than that of the average working mum. So good childcare is a very realistic option for her. There is even an on-site nursery at Westminster.
I understand that Pip is still breastfeeding and Stella feels he is too young to be left, which is her prerogative.
But if she wants to go to work, perhaps she needs to bring a nanny with her to hold the baby while he is not feeding.
In many ways I can see why she has decided to bring her son with her. No one is covering her work while her baby is young. And clearly she is committed to representing her constituency of Walthamstow.
But while people have spoken out in support of Stella, Commons Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle admitted he had been heavily lobbied by other MPs who are mothers, calling on him to “not give in” by changing the rules.
Having a career and family is a choice
Unfortunately, as a working mother your lot in life is to juggle — and to suffer from constant guilt — but to get on with it.
The solution is to be organised and have very good help, not to take your baby into your work.
Apart from anything else, babies need a routine.
Most mums know there are sacrifices and compromises to be made when having children.
So many know that, for example, if you wheel your buggy on to a bus and all the space is taken by other mums’ prams, you have to wait for the next one.
Yet Stella complained about this happening to her on Twitter earlier this month. Frankly, when you have kids there are some things you just have to get on with.
I am a different person at work than when I’m being a mum, as most of us are, especially if you are in a position of authority.
You have your home personality and your work personality. The trick is not to let one drain the life out of the other. I never took my kids to board meetings and it was never even a consideration to do so.
Having a career and a family is a choice.
You can’t blend the two and you can’t ask your employer to bend the rules to suit you.
Celebrity misery is a turn-off
I STOPPED watching I’m A Celebrity . . . Get Me Out Of Here! after only two episodes.
It’s not that I hardly recognise any of the celebrities in this series (Ant and Dec are the two most famous people in there!).
It’s just that everyone seems utterly miserable and cold (they so need to get back to the jungle), and they are getting weaker and wetter by the day.
Yes, they must have known what they signed up for – either eating endless rice and beans or pig’s penis, and being chained down in coffins with rats or wading through rotten fish.
We know it’s not always fun for them, but it usually is fun for us watching.
But actually, watching people who look freezing and miserable – and in some cases frail – just isn’t very enjoyable at all.
Jessie’s talk of loss is so vital
I HAVE so much admiration for singer Jessie J for revealing, on Instagram, that she has had a miscarriage.
“I decided to have a baby on my own because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short,” she wrote, before explaining that doctors were unable to find a heartbeat during her third scan.
She added: “I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming.”
A few hours later, she broke down in tears on stage. My heart goes out to her.
Given that one in three pregnancies ends in miscarriage, we really do not talk about it enough.
Many years ago, I had one and it’s such a sad time.
I found it really hard to talk about it openly – and still do. I guess because there is some kind of shame or a sense of failure attached to the loss.
It’s tough because it is a bereavement. So the idea of not feeling able to discuss it is so counter-intuitive.
But maybe if more people spoke openly about their losses then that would not be the case.
And the more that high-profile women talk publicly about miscarriage, the better.
